Hunting Season in Wisconsin

It's hunting season in Wisconsin - do you know where your loved ones are? They're in the woods looking for deer. I have a healthy respect for guns because I know the damage they can do. I took the Hunter Safety Class with my youngest son many years ago and proceeded to go hunting for the first time where I actually carried a gun, rather than being a bored observer. It really is boring if you are not the one shooting. It was a comedy of errors - not safety issues mind you, just user error.

I tried to hit a deer that was out in our hay field. I was very careful where I shot because my eldest son was at the end of the field in a stand so I wouldn't shoot in that direction at all. I tried to load the shell into the bolt-action rifle and of course couldn't figure out why they kept ejecting instead. Apparently I had too much of an angle on it and they just fell out. My youngest son, who was my hunting buddy just snickered. I finally got off a few shots and realized I can't hold the gun steady to save my life. I literally shot all around the stupid deer, within inches of his feet, and never hit him. As we were just behind the barn I could go back to the house for more shells and that darn deer laid down and waited. He wasn't worried in the least. I came back using some colorful language at the audacity of the critter and tried again. It just laid there looking around, laughing at me - it had to be laughing at me. My son was certainly laughing. My eldest son, who usually hits what he aims at, came down from his stand and about half-way up the field yelled wanting to know what was going on. The deer apparently had heard of his hunting prowess because it jumped up and started to run. The kid didn't stand a chance. By the time he saw it and got into position that deer was gone. He came the rest of the way up, perplexed, and asked his brother what went on. I just went back to the house and until this year, hadn't hunted since. Oh yes, I get teased regularly about it. It wasn't funny then, but of course looking back, it really was.

This year my husband asked what I had against hunting. Nothing, I can't hold the gun still so why waste the bullets? He nodded. "You need a prop." We got a three-leg prop and a ground blind - I don't like heights and I'm a bit of a klutz, so no tree stand for me. I stayed out several hours opening morning before the call of nature took over and I had to go home and then went back out in the afternoon. Finally, I saw two deer walk right by my blind! That was too close and I knew they'd hear me get the gun set up on the prop so I waited until they were a little ways out and then - blam. One shot, I dropped the doe in her tracks. I have been watching hunting shows and knew where the kill zone was. Of course after I got it sighted in I squeezed the trigger and closed my eyes. I didn't see it fall, but saw the other one run into the woods. I traced their path through the snow and finally saw her, down and dead. I did a silent victory dance - "Yes!!!" I didn't want to scare the rest of them of it there were any out there in the woods.

I went back the next day to try to fill my buck tag. I did see one, but discovered I can't hit a moving target. That's okay. I have enough with what my husband shot that we won't run out of venison for a while. I also learned something very important - union suits (one piece long underwear) are not female friendly! I think I'll get a two piece set next year.