Brother is so Funny

My older brother has kept me laughing my entire life. Today is no different. He called me and actually said, "I thought I'd give you something funny to write in your blog about your brother." He doesn't even have internet, and he wanted me to post about his incident.

This last week his cell phone quit. It happens, and like me, he really would rather chew nails than have to go get a new phone. The sales reps always try to talk us into 'upgrading' into a smart phone from the flip phones we currently use. For me, I did have smart phones once. I discovered not only was it too expensive, but the phones were smarter than we are. No thank you.

My brother went to his local cell phone store (we are the same network but I'm not endorsing the brand). They, of course, did not have an identical flip phone to the one that died so he chose another flip phone. It didn't hurt that it was the only one in the store. I've run into that myself, so I know what he was up against. The representative set it all up for him and he went on his way. Flash forward to the next day: brother is trying to take a nap. The house is completely locked up, the television is off, complete silence. All of the sudden he hears a voice calling, "Hello! Welcome...." that's when he quit listening and just went into action. He grabbed his trusty protection, a 9mm handgun, and goes after whomever has broken into his home. He sees no one, but then the voice calls out again. "Hello".

Spinning around, safety off, weapon cocked to fire, he nearly shot his "really nice television that was off and did nothing to deserve it." He heard it again. After about a minute he heard it again. "Hello, Welcome to ... network." His new phone was talking to him! Repeatedly!

After much swearing he grabbed the possessed cell phone, turned it off, and took it back. The manager reset the settings to not give verbal notifications and handed it back. Confident the problem was corrected, he handed it back. My brother set it on the counter and just stared at it.

"What are you doing?" the manager asked.

Holding up a finger, he replied, "Just wait for it."

Less than a minute later..."Hello, welcome to ...network." It had done its own reset, four times. The representative finally grabbed the phone and yanked the back off of it and removed the battery. He set it on the counter and backed away. He stared at my brother with a scared look. "What the hell was that?"

"I told you it was possessed!" my brother said.

"Well, we got another phone the same model as your old one, newer of course, over night. We'll just get you that one."

So far so good. No magic voice has haunted him from his cell phone. Ha!