New Short Stories Published

I write on occasion for Associated Content which is part of the Yahoo! Contributor's Network. They have 'calls for content' and since I have written fiction for them before, they usually have a 'call' for a few short stories. One was for a holiday story and another was for a story based on an image - any image as long as I had permission to use it.

The first one is called Christmas Surprise. Six-year-old Carrie is getting a surprise for Christmas. At 651 words, it won't take long to read, but just a warning to you softies out there, keep a tissue handy. It can be found at http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/9185813/christmas_surprise.html.

The other one is based on a beautiful picture I found at FreeDigitalPhotos.net of a winter sunset. Usually I hate snow and wintertime but this was a beautiful photograph, something akin to what I have seen around here on the few times I forgot how bad I hate the cold and wintertime. The photograph is included with the story. Barbara has a choice to make and she often talked through her important choices with her late husband by taking a walk and talking it out. The story is called Difficult Decisions (500 words) and can be found at http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/9186771/difficult_decisions.html. 


I find these types of assignments to be fun and challenging. Sometimes I get to write in my normal genre, but it never hurts to stretch one's literary muscles and work in different areas. I still like to do articles, but fiction is where the fun is. I hope you enjoy these two stories.

Hunting Season in Wisconsin

It's hunting season in Wisconsin - do you know where your loved ones are? They're in the woods looking for deer. I have a healthy respect for guns because I know the damage they can do. I took the Hunter Safety Class with my youngest son many years ago and proceeded to go hunting for the first time where I actually carried a gun, rather than being a bored observer. It really is boring if you are not the one shooting. It was a comedy of errors - not safety issues mind you, just user error.

I tried to hit a deer that was out in our hay field. I was very careful where I shot because my eldest son was at the end of the field in a stand so I wouldn't shoot in that direction at all. I tried to load the shell into the bolt-action rifle and of course couldn't figure out why they kept ejecting instead. Apparently I had too much of an angle on it and they just fell out. My youngest son, who was my hunting buddy just snickered. I finally got off a few shots and realized I can't hold the gun steady to save my life. I literally shot all around the stupid deer, within inches of his feet, and never hit him. As we were just behind the barn I could go back to the house for more shells and that darn deer laid down and waited. He wasn't worried in the least. I came back using some colorful language at the audacity of the critter and tried again. It just laid there looking around, laughing at me - it had to be laughing at me. My son was certainly laughing. My eldest son, who usually hits what he aims at, came down from his stand and about half-way up the field yelled wanting to know what was going on. The deer apparently had heard of his hunting prowess because it jumped up and started to run. The kid didn't stand a chance. By the time he saw it and got into position that deer was gone. He came the rest of the way up, perplexed, and asked his brother what went on. I just went back to the house and until this year, hadn't hunted since. Oh yes, I get teased regularly about it. It wasn't funny then, but of course looking back, it really was.

This year my husband asked what I had against hunting. Nothing, I can't hold the gun still so why waste the bullets? He nodded. "You need a prop." We got a three-leg prop and a ground blind - I don't like heights and I'm a bit of a klutz, so no tree stand for me. I stayed out several hours opening morning before the call of nature took over and I had to go home and then went back out in the afternoon. Finally, I saw two deer walk right by my blind! That was too close and I knew they'd hear me get the gun set up on the prop so I waited until they were a little ways out and then - blam. One shot, I dropped the doe in her tracks. I have been watching hunting shows and knew where the kill zone was. Of course after I got it sighted in I squeezed the trigger and closed my eyes. I didn't see it fall, but saw the other one run into the woods. I traced their path through the snow and finally saw her, down and dead. I did a silent victory dance - "Yes!!!" I didn't want to scare the rest of them of it there were any out there in the woods.

I went back the next day to try to fill my buck tag. I did see one, but discovered I can't hit a moving target. That's okay. I have enough with what my husband shot that we won't run out of venison for a while. I also learned something very important - union suits (one piece long underwear) are not female friendly! I think I'll get a two piece set next year.

Microsoft Grammer and Spell Check

Okay, I can't be the only one who gets extremely frustrated with the grammer and spell check function from Microsoft. Everyday I am typing away and it underlines sentences in the notes I am typing. I right click and it says it is a sentence fragment and that I need to reword it, only of course since I am typing other peoples dictation I can't do that. However, I diagram the sentences and they actually are not fragments for the most part. Counselors and doctors do tend to dictate in fragments and strug together prepositional phrases, but it decides just about every sentence is a fragment, even if it isn't. It does that with my manuscripts at home too, and I can change those, but they, ninety-nine percent of time, are not fragments. (I just diagrammed the last sentence to double check, by the way.)

I have to wonder where these programmers went to school to learn language arts. I think they went where I did for the first couple years of my education - Tallahassee. They had workbooks with clear plastic overlays where we circled the answers. When we moved in the middle of my third grade year I was surprised that the small town had actual text books for elementary school students and we had to write down sentences and fill in the blanks with the correct answers. In later sections we were diagramming sentences. We didn't do that in Tallahassee. I have relatives who have gone to school there (and other large city schools)  and they can't put a sentence together to save their lives either. We diagrammed ad nauseum until I got out of high school. I asked a niece if she had ever done that and she had no clue what I was talking about. Spelling was the same way. We had to learn to spell words, not shortened versions of the words, and we knew how to use a dictionary. I find myself constantly adding words to the computer dictionary and while I do understand that they can't possibly put every word in the dictionary, there are basic everyday words that should be in there as a matter of course and aren't.

The so-called experts doing the programming on these grammer and spell check programs need a refresher course in how to judge a sentence. It often gives the most rediculous explanations as to why it thinks a sentence is incorrect that have absolutely nothing to do with the actual sentence. I check just for kicks once in a while for the explanation and then the only kick I get is one I give myself for having clicked the exlanation box in the first place.

Tupperware

Few things last in life, especially made of plastic. I have some Tupperware that I have had for years. We have a set of lidded bowls- kind of squarish round, if you can picture that- that the lids have started cracking when I try to 'burp' the bowl. Two of them have the cracks now and I kept using them as long as what went in them wasn't something that would smell up the refrigerator. Finally the medium bowl burp its last burp. It cracked all the way to the center and then the center fell out. Shoot! It was the one I used the most. I had to send it to the recycle bin. My husband says it's a shame because they are only a couple years old and I had to remind him that my mother gave them to us for Christmas when we still lived in Florida in either 1983 or 1984. The cake plate,  which holds a three layer cake, is still in great shape. "Well," he says smiling, "Next time tell her to get something that will last a while." I had to laugh. "Okay, I'll let her know."

As I said, few things last - but my Tupperware brand containers seem to be doing just that. I have canisters that are even older, they were his before we got married in 1981 and they still work like new. I guess we've gotten our money's worth.

Veteran's Day

I want to say a huge thank you to our veterans who have served, and are serving, our country so honorably. In years past our military was by draft and you served with great distinction and honor, regardless of what job you were assigned, because everything was important - it needed to be done. Now, we are an all volunteer military and you are serving of your own free wills and for that I, and many others, thank you. For those who made the ultimate sacrifice, I weep for your loss and your families' loss and thank your families profusely for your service. Our future is said to be in the hands of the next generation, but their security is in the hands of our military.

Thank a veteran today.

Sincerely, Eliza Lynn Taylor

Andy Rooney

Alas, only one month after his final segment of A Few Minutes with Andy Rooney on 60 Minutes, Andy Rooney has died at the age of 92.  I remember watching 60 Minutes just for those segments. He gave us writers the idea that maybe we could write about whatever seemed important to us. What an icon. Even though they announced that he would be doing an occasional guest segment of his commentaries, I knew it would never be the same. Good bye Mr. Rooney. We'll miss you. Keep them in stitches on the other side!

It Must Be Wednesday

I can always tell when it's getting near the end of the day. I am thinking about what I need to do at work to get ready to go home. Can I type another note? Is there actually time to get it done? Do I pull files now, or wait five minutes? No, pull the files because it's Wednesday and more times than not someone is going to call for an appointment and it will take a long time because they probably won't have their insurance information on hand or their work schedule or something. I got the call from an employee assistance program (EAP) for an employee who needed to see a counselor. They need called back so they know when the appointment is set up and it needs done as soon as possible. I called the client and made the appointment. Okay. Then I called the EAP company at their 800 number and that's when the giggles set in.  This is how it went at about ten to five.

I hear the tell tale theme music and then the message "Welcome to AT&T's 1-800 calling network." Already I'm suspicious that I may have mis-dialed the number.  "Please speak or enter your access code now." Okay, I don't even have time to do either before it repeats the message and it sounds a little hostile. Hmmm. So I speak the three digit extension number the EAP rep had given me. "Please speak or enter your access code now!" Definitely aggravated. So, I punch in the code thinking with my accent maybe it didn't understand what I said. (I have a somewhat of a southern drawl). "That is not the access code. Speak or enter your access code now!" No 'please' this time, and it sounded a little mad. At this point it's getting funny because this is an automated message. What's going one here anyway? I enter the number once again. I am not kidding when I say the pitch and timber of the automated voice changed. It got louder and it spoke with inflection on certain words. "That is NOT the access code! SPEAK or ENTER your access code NOW!!" By this point I was certain I had dialed the number incorrectly but I was laughing and I almost didn't hang up. This thing was pissed. I didn't know an automated system could do that. I wondered if it would shout "YOU ARE A MORON! Enter the RIGHT DAMN CODE - NOW!!"

I did hang up and dialed again. Yeah, I got the actual company this time and almost couldn't leave the message about the appointment information.

 Has anything like that ever happened to you?