Never Again Part IV

"I know. We'll figure something out. Now that you're functioning on all cylinders again I'm sure we'll work it out together and he'll never touch you again."

Ed sat on the grass in the yard across the street and watched the house. The new tenants weren't home so no one told him to leave. He had already noted the locks had been changed and he couldn't find a spare key to get inside. He had a brown bag with him with a bottle showing out of the top. He drank heavily from it. Probation violation number two, or is it three, he wondered, since he wasn't supposed to be near either of the women and he was certain Janelle was in that house. And what was Eva doing home anyway; she was supposed to be at work? Damn the bad luck!

"He's still there and he is drunk," Janelle said. "He is real mean when he's drunk."

"He's real mean when he's sober. He's dangerous when he's drunk. I have an idea though. Go unlock that back gate."

"What?"

"Just unlock the back gate," Eva said. "He's going to try to get in eventually and we'll be waiting."

The women turned off the lights and sat in the kitchen. On his third bottle now, Ed was staggering drunk and they knew from experience, about to pass out. The neighbors were actually on vacation so they had never come home to run him off the property and empty bottles were now scattered at his feet.

"Are you sure this is going to work?" Janelle asked Eva, whispering.

"There are a lot of witnesses that he is drunk. Someone is selling it to him; so he's on a surveillance camera somewhere staggering around. Did you see him the last time he left for more booze? I'm surprised he hasn't passed out by now or that the other neighbors haven't called the cops. They all know he's not supposed to be in the neighborhood."

"Most of them don't want to get involved. If he does something again, they'll bear witness that he was here, but beyond that, they'll stay out of it," Eva said. "They all know how mean he is and they don't want to get hurt."

A noise in the yard brought them on high alert. Ed had indeed come in the back gate. Eva had placed a bottle of liquor out on the picnic table where he'd be sure and find it. She wanted him passed out drunk. He staggered around until he saw the bottle on the table. He muttered something about the gods presenting manna from heaven and opened the bottle. The women shook their heads and watched in amazement. He turned the bottle up and downed the contents without stopping.

"Are you sure he isn't trying to kill himself with alcohol poisoning?" Janelle asked Eva.

"At this point, I don't know," she answered, "But I'm not taking any chances. Are you?'

"No," Janelle replied. "He's too volatile. I might be dead the next time and I can't hole up here in the house forever and neither can you. I'm glad they gave you a few days off from work though. You must be about out."

"I am out. Someone else gave up some time off so I could get off a few days while we see what Ed is going to do."

"Good friend," Janelle commented.

"Very good friend," Eva agreed.

Ed tried to yank the door to the porch open and the women jumped. The lock held even though he tried several times. In his drunken state he no longer had enough strength to yank it loose from the wood. They eyed each other, watching as he staggered backward and fell over. He didn't move and they watched him closely for a good twenty minutes. He didn't so much as twitch a muscle.

"You think he's dead?" Janelle asked.

"I don't know, but we'd better check. I don't want a body in my back yard."

She eased out into the yard and checked for a pulse. Suddenly Ed snored and she jumped and tried not to scream. Back in the house she told Janelle he was out cold but not dead.

"You know, he almost got that lock pulled loose anyway!" Eva told her.

"Damn," Janelle said under her breath. "What now?"

"Load him up, just like we planned," Eva said.

They wrapped Ed in an old and cheap tarp Eva had used to cover her floor when she painted and together they struggled to lift him and put him in the back of her car. They drove out to his favorite place in a wooded area at a local lake within walking distance of their home, and after unwrapping him; they pushed him into the lake and held him under. He never woke up or put up a fight.

"May God forgive us!" Janelle said wracked with sobs.

"We definitely have some penance to do," Eva told her, patting her shoulder, "But he was like a rabid dog, Janelle. He had to be put down before he killed us."

"I know, but can we live with it?" She wiped her face on her shirt tail.

"We'll see," was all that Eva could say. She rolled the tarp back up and stuffed it into her car. On the way home she stopped at a dumpster and shoved it inside.

There was knock on the door the next morning. Ed's probation agent was standing there. "You ladies look like hell," he said when Eva answered the door and let him inside.

"We'll Ed was across the street drinking most of the day and half the night, so no, we didn't get much sleep for wondering when he was going to break in," Eva said.

"I saw all the bottles in the yard over there as I drove up. He do that?" the agent asked.

"Oh yeah," Eva said. "He was staggering around so much I'm surprised anyone sold to him."

"Well, tried to check on him last night to tell him to stay away from here, but he wasn't there. I guess I should have guessed he was still here after you called. Why didn't you call again?"

"It didn't seem to do any good the last time," Janelle stated. She had been trying to stay quiet, but she clamped her mouth shut tight afterwards.

"Yes, and he was over there; not here. He was five hundred away. If he'd come back to the yard, I would have called the police," Eva said.

"When did he leave?"

"I think about ten. We tried to keep track of him, but that's about when he disappeared. I figured he finally got drunk enough and went home, wherever that is these days."

"He has an apartment rented by probation. He didn't go there last night. He has a roommate and he didn't see him."

"Then I don't know what to tell you. If he comes back we'll give you a call."

"Okay. Meanwhile I'll check with the bus company. He can't get here walking. I made sure he was too far away for that. It's the only way he could have gotten here. From the looks of that pile of bottles, he didn't pay for a cab; he didn't have that much money."

Three days later Eva opened up the newspaper about the time the phone rang. She read the headline as she answered on the fourth ring. MISSING PAROLEE FOUND DEAD IN LOCAL LAKE.

It was the probation agent. "I wanted to talk to you before you got the paper. We found Ed."

Too late. "Really?" Eva said, as if she hadn't seen the news. "Where's he been?"

"Dead," was the reply.

"Really? What happened?" she said as if surprised.

"The coroner says his blood alcohol level was lethal but he drowned. You know that lake near your place?"

"Yes," she said. "He liked to fish there. Is that where he was?"

"We think he must have staggered there while drunk and passed out in the lake. He was so drunk he never woke up."

"Oh, dear," she said, as if she thought it a tragedy.  "I certainly wanted him to go away, but dead? Never thought that would happen."

"Yes ma'am. It's being ruled accidental," he added.

"I'll let Janelle know. She's not up yet."

"Thank you," he said, and they ended the call.

"Well? Did they find him?" Janelle asked from behind her.

"Yes they did, and we are in the clear," she answered. Both women smiled.

Odd Phenomenon? Or Just Good Reading?

This morning was like any other freezing, cold morning in Wisconsin, except it wasn't actually snowing and it wasn't overcast, as it has been a lot lately. The closer I got to town the more I saw a strange thing that most would have thought was quite lovely and amazing. Light was dancing around like billions of tiny mirrors floating though the sky. It fairly snowed with it, only it wasn't snowing. It actually was quite distracting, and driving down an icy road, distractions one doesn't need. Still, even though I did keep my mind on driving, this otherwise lovely phenomena was strangely unsettling. I couldn't put my finger on it. Finally, I arrived at my job (a little early) and I was able to just concentrate on the massive swarm of glitter in the air. Glitter. That's when it hit me. Maybe I read too much, or maybe I just have way to good an imagination, or I should switch to decaf, but it reminded me of something; I just had to figure out what. There was something down deep in the recesses of my mind I had to retrieve. I must have looked totally ridiculous standing there with all my stuff that I haul into the office everyday, not moving, my eyes darting around just studying the glitter dust floating in the air. I wondered if it would get into my lungs, although most likely it was just caused by moisture in the air from the local paper factory freezing and reflecting the sunlight. I'm pretty sure that's what it was.

At last my frozen brain remembered what it was trying so hard to pull to the forefront. Several years ago I read a science fiction book by Michael Creighton called Prey. They described clouds of nano-particles that resemble glass dust or glitter, floating through the air as would a cloud of insects. Theses nano-particles invaded individuals, copied them exactly and then killed off the host while they pretended to be the person, animal, object, they replicated. They were supposed to go in and cure diseases, but instead began thinking for themselves and craving power. It was quite strange. And then of course all I heard about everywhere was nano-technology this and nano-technology that, and it was really creepy. One develops a real appreciation for the science fiction writer, because as anyone who has ever been exposed to Star Trek knows, science fiction is only fictitious until someone comes up with a way to make that non-existent invention reality. If you need evidence of that just think of cell phones and Bluetooth technology, or earwigs that hear and transmit in the same nearly unseen piece of equipment.

Not enough sleep? Too much coffee?  Maybe. I don't know. But...here's to good reading and great imaginations that stick with you even when you're finished with the book.

Stop! Drop That Cupcake!

I was browsing MSN the other day and came across an article that made me want to gag. Of course I read it! If you are eating a commercially made baked good, you might want to put it down and consider learning how to bake from scratch- I don’t mean open a box, dump it in a bowl with an egg, water, and oil; stir and bake. I mean measure out all the ingredients yourself: flour, sugar, baking powder, cocoa, etc. The article for your reference can be found at: http://todayhealth.today.com/_news/2012/10/17/14489629-8-ingredients-you-never-want-to-see-on-nutrition-labels?lite , and it is called 8 Ingredients You Never Want to See on Ingredient Labels. Of all the ingredients they labeled, which really were disturbing, I nearly tossed my last meal when I read about one of them: Castoreum. Castoreum is actually from the scent glad (an anal glad) of the beaver. (What?) You might not even see it on the ingredient list because it can be simply labeled as a ‘natural ingredient’. Well, yeah, I suppose it is ‘natural’ since it isn’t created in the lab!

Okay, so, I want to know how this came about. Did someone in some lab playing around with studying the effects of drugs (like marijuana) suddenly decide to try it on themselves and then the participants start thinking something like this:

Guy One: “Hey, dude! Look at that flat tailed critter over there in the cage. I wonder what would happen if we played with that thing man? Ping Pong!”

Guy Two: “Man you ain’t right! Ha ha. Let’s play with his butt!”

Guy One:  “Cool.  Look! He’s spraying something out. Whoa! That smells dude. But look at the color!”

Guy Two:  “I wonder if we put that in food it will hurt someone. Let’s try it.”

Guy One:  “Gross idea; let’s do it.”

Then these two knob-heads bake a cake and put in this ‘extracted’ substance (I really don’t want to know how they did that. Do you?) And, then they decide they like this cake.

Guy One:  “Eureka! We’re on to something here. I wonder if the FDA will approve it for commercial use.”

Guy Two: “I don’t know. Let’s see.”

I want to know who in the FDA decided that it was a good idea to even test this as a legitimate ingredient. Did someone not ask why someone would want to put an ‘extract’ from a beaver’s butt into food in the first place? Or did they just say, “Sure, we can see if this will sicken people over time,” and send out the approval?

Personally, I have always preferred homemade, from scratch baked goods. My husband, not so much. Not that it isn't good; he just thinks it's softer or less expensive, or easier. I wonder if now I can convince him that he should eat what I do- the homemade bread (not from a mix) and cake from scratch. How about you?